two more days left. thats it. just two days before the last four years come to an abrupt halt. i guess im supposed to look at it as my “next chapter,” but what if i really like the page im on? its a scary thought. i know getting my undergrad is like being a kid for another four years, procrastinating adulthood, but im terrified all the same. im not old enough to be in college! im still a baby! how did my life move so quickly without me noticing? i dont know. so many things are changing and i need to catch my balance on something stable. it used to be soccer but now even thats over. i still cant believe it. i wouldnt trade the last six months for the world but id give anything to keep my tan lines for a couple more weeks. soccer is the backdrop to eveything LHS for me. i started my freshman year with blood-red cleats, a fear of disappointment, and a terror of the unknown. and as the most influential teacher for me, Prangen and the Lemont soccer program has taught me that challenges are designed to be overcome. without them, there is no test of greatness. as a whole? yeah i learned alot. i can successfully tell you when a “limit does not exist!” and identify a Shakespearian sonnet from an Italian one, but what these last four years actually taught me is deeper than that. i learned that the test of character comes from a challenge, and the way you greet that challenge and overcome your obstacles can tell alot about the person you are, and the person you will become. its a concurrent fact that LHS strives for excellence, and though i may not have reached it yet, the people i have met in the last four years pointed me in the right direction.
…stems from the brevity of your words. I feel it when you distance yourself from me and frankly, it absolutely terrifies me. I’m terrified because the attachment I have to you is strained. Is it only from my point of view? Am I the only one who sees it? I’m embarrassed that I hold so much value in your friendship and you constantly push me away. But it’s fine, you’re right, I’m over it.
Finding self-value is harder than it looks, you know. Especially when I’m replaced so easily. You say that it’s because I distanced myself from you, but where’s the fight? God, these unanswered questions are what make me silent. If you weren’t so self-absorbed maybe you would ask what’s going on in my life or what I’m thinking. Get a clue. Find the will. Try, for Christ’s sake.
We stopped being so close because I went through the hardest part of my life and I shut down. I don’t know what happened. I know it sounds jaded and it’s difficult to believe, but because you know me, you should get it. But you don’t get it. I cut myself off because I didn’t understand the emotions I was having. You didn’t care enough to climb over the wall I put up. It hurts. I want you to know that it hurts.
But it’s okay, I’m fine, and I’m definitely over it.
Orange, red, green, black. Walk the halls the Thursday before Homecoming or MORP, our high-energy and ridiculously fun version of turnabout, and those are the only colors you will see. Underclassmen are doused in green and black glitter, they unknowingly sport strips of green and black duct tape on their backs, and at the pep rally at the end of the week the seniors lead their class, juniors, and sophomores in a rousing chant of “GO HOME FRESHMEN!” From the outside, the competitive, high energy attitudes of Lemont High School students to win the title of “Spirit Week Champions” could make us look like we hate each other, but it’s quite the opposite. Spirit Week gave the students of LHS the opportunity to grow together as a class.
My freshman year was filled with school oriented activities. I was a cheerleader on the JV cheerleading squad, a class representative, a stat girl for the Varsity wrestling team, and a starting forward for the sophomore soccer team. It was only right that I was elected Class Captain, responsible for revving up the crowd during The Spirit Week Games. It’s this inside view to the beginning of four years together that really let me understand how the class of 2012 has grown together.
Freshman year started with about four different middle schools feeding into the high school, which means a ton of strange faces mixing with the familiar. Throughout the years, new faces came, old faces left, and those once familiar faces grew into something entirely different. Friendships are lost and friendships are gained, but with one month left together, the camaraderie is tangible. I think my first inkling to how close our class has grown would be the Super-Sectional Finals for the boys Varsity soccer team. There was a hefty number of seniors on the team, and even though the drive to the field was over two and half hours away, friends and acquaintances carpooled, pitched in money for gas, brought snacks, burnt CDs, and sported all Lemont High School soccer apparel they could find to drive and support friends and classmates playing. That day, LHS pride was palpable.
I always think about how much I can’t wait to go to college. But to be honest, I’m nervous and sad. As much as I say I dislike it, the sense of community and pride I get from my peers at Lemont High School makes me feel as though I’m leaving more than an educational institution— I feel like I’m leaving home. This is one of the most important factors I looked for while browsing colleges and universities, and because I want to go to a Big 10 University, I was adamant on finding a sense of belonging. That’s what I’m hoping to get at U of I. The sense of home at U of I has the sense of belonging that I haven’t found anywhere else, and I believe this will give me the confidence I have to leave my home to settle into a new one.
This <a href=”http://www.centurylinkquote.com/scholarship”>scholarship</a> is sponsored by <a href=”http://www.centurylinkquote.com/”>CenturyLinkQuote.com</a>.
(Source: daxterdd, via muddycoffee)
